Life is Busy Stop and take the time to think

In our daily work, consulting with many interesting individual clients over the twenty year history of our private practice, we are privileged to be able to learn from the wisdom & experience of the people we are working with.   A frequent insight that is expressed by many of our more senior age clients (55+ ) was that they regretted not having spent more time just thinking about life and where they were going.  Instead, they seemed to have been on a busy non-stop ride throughout their lives.

So often the demands and busyness of life can keep us from taking a step back to look at the bigger picture.

Why do people in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s & 50’s often find it hard to set aside time to think?

• Life is busy – as life gets busier and more demanding we can sometimes struggle just to stay on top of matters and cope with it all.
• We are on an entertainment ride – we live in a 24/7 consumer – entertainment culture.  It is not in the best interests of the media or entertainment industry for us to switch off and just spend time thinking. Instead, we are offered a never ending, seamless feed of exciting shows, series and sporting events.
• Ants in our pants – many people just can’t keep still long enough to think.
• Quiet contemplation is not really valued or promoted in our society.  The old Greek philosophers would be turning in their graves to see how little talk of deeper issues there is in the public arena today.

When we take time to think we can:

• Look at the big questions.  What is the meaning of life? What do I believe in? What happens to us after we die?
• Create life goals. What would I like to achieve? What things are really important to me? What do I need to be focusing on in 2015 to help me reach my goals?
• Evaluate our journey. What have I been learning? Am I on track to reach my goals? How have I been distracted? What do I need to be doing differently? Whom can I be building a stronger relationship with?
• Appreciate the present. What good things are happening in my life presently and how can I appreciate them more fully?  How can I put my problems into perspective?

As always we would be delighted to make the time to talk with you professionally – please choose to contact us and book an appointment in your own good time !

Letting My Light Shine

Sometimes a psychologist needs help too!

The third in a series of posts, sharing my personal transformation from a fat and grumpy sad sack to a happier, healthier, and stronger human being  during nine months of personal training sessions ...

Introduction:

In January I embarked on a new lifestyle path because I finally became so sick to death of myself that I found a compelling reason and a means to make changes.

I have tried and failed many times before and in my last post, I finally came to terms with the main saboteur in my life – ME!

Support is the Key to Change

After much measured self-reflection and with my trainer (my secret weapon!) consistently supporting me, I have finally broken through and can see that I have already made great progress in breaking the cycle of struggle in all areas of my life:

• physically,
• mentally,
• emotionally,
• and spiritually.

This time, I'm exploring the rewards, both tangible and intangible of this stage of my personal transformation. It's also been a time of consolidating and internalising my motivations, as well as the more obvious physical changes.

One of the biggest bonuses from this stage is the clarity I now have.

This clarity shines a light both looking forward and backwards.

I look forward to what I can now see, I can achieve; as well as looking backwards to my journey so far and the incredible insights this has afforded me.

This new clarity has led me to a renewed passion to help others reclaim their energy and their lives, as I have done.

Part of this is a desire to encourage businesses to create healthier workplace environments to support their workforce, community, productivity and profitability in our stressful and demanding times.

12 Weeks - No Need to Count anymore

Early April 2013: Reluctance & Reliance turns to Joy & Expectation

I am now approximately twelve weeks into my personal training journey and WOW! I am delighted I have stayed committed for a whole three months - and loving it.

My previous life-long pattern would have been a short burst of intense but brief enthusiasm, meaning that by this stage I would have fizzled out and slipped back to minimum physical activities.

Furthermore I would have justified this reneging on myself with some convenient false belief, like:

"Poor me I just have too much in my work/family diary at the moment to keep exercising and I will get back into it again soon ...blah blah blah."

Fortunately for me, my Trainer’s contagious enthusiasm and sheer joy in participating in energetic, fun physical routines, keeps me on track.

I now can sense my increased mental toughness and expanding desire to challenge myself physically. I have a deeper self belief in my abilities and capabilities.

I look and feel stronger and can connect to the movement of my muscles much better.

I look forward to my regular training sessions as the most important and inspiring use of my time each week.

On each occasion my trainer is subtly educating me with physiological and nutritional advice that generates clear and specific health benefits for me.

• I have an expanding sense of ease, enjoyment and excitement that transfers through training into my life in general.
• I am increasingly aware of my reliable progress and understand clearly, that if I consistently do the work (food, rest, exercise, stretching) I will always see the results.
• I start to notice a maturation in my use of power and focus, becoming much more insightful about aligning more gently with subtle physical (plus psychological) energy.
• I nurture and flow with the rhythm of my body during exercise sessions, and thus start to tap into a much more sustainable and enduring source of core strength.
• My laughter and playfulness expand because  am no longer just driven by fierce brute male force or aggression.

I so much look forward to each training session, that it has now become clear to me that I have definitely stepped into a new way of life.

People around me comment that I look younger and fitter and stronger. I smile appreciatively, because every deep fibre of my renewed healthier self knows this is true.

In work and social settings I've noticed a more grounded and inspired personal presence, but without the ego or arrogance.

How My Life Has Changed

My lifestyle benefits and simpler easier ways of getting things done are also worth acknowledging.

Mundane but delightful advantages like now being able to…

• athletically climb up a back yard ladder effortlessly;
• spring onto the tin roof at home;
• and spend an energetic Saturday morning pruning the large overhanging palm fronds.

All this and more has become easy and graceful.

Because by now I am more than 20 kilograms lighter, I no longer shuffle gingerly on the tin roof sheeting as I once would have.

I no longer feel unsafe, tense and poorly balanced as I previously sensed the danger of my excessive weight buckling the tin sheets and collapsing through the structure.

I feel truly blessed to be guided by such an inspirational trainer, who has respectfully walked beside me on the journey of the last 3 months and reminded me that it is natural and delightful to truly prioritise health and wellbeing practices into the daily rituals of my life.

Looking after You Honours Others

Investing in myself this way is also an excellent way to honour the other people in my life who I love and care about.

I am truly enjoying giving myself permission to enjoy doing the training that is rekindling my joy and vitality - my inner light.

This light burned brightly in the heyday of my past energetic youth and is now is once again beginning to shine brightly!

At the beginning of July 2013 I participated in the Gold Coast Marathon, the culmination of this phase and the embodiment of letting my light shine through. This day signifies the start of the next phase of my transformation, which I will be sharing in the next blog in this series, as I transform my beliefs about myself with a realisation that truly aligns my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual self with a common purpose.

As a result of my own personal journey with its successes, failures, reflections and education in the realms of health from my personal trainer and the rigors of my professional expertise, knowledge and business focus; I have become impassioned to create a committed and integrated health, wellbeing and coaching offering for businesses.

This unique approach marries healthier lifestyle practices into a business or workplace setting that is enduring and creates real change.

Ritualising the approach to a whole, participating individual through physical, emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing, the objective is to create enhanced communication, higher functioning and thinking, an environment that nurtures creativity, cements loyalty and overall creates a healthier workplace for all.

Stepping out and beyond traditional workplace health programs, our modular program is more than just a personal trainer, membership at the gym, or some life coaching sessions. Aside from my own results, we are getting real results in workplace settings.

Please feel free to comment below, or contact me directly for more information on our innovative new program especially designed for forward thinking workplaces looking for the edge in human resourcefulness.

Self Sabotage – Fear of Looking Good

Sometimes a psychologist needs help too!

The second in a series of posts, sharing my personal journey from a fat and grumpy sad sack during nine months of personal training sessions ...

Introduction

To stop this year ending up like the last few (or rather many) years, struggling to keep my head above water physically, financially and at times emotionally, I have embarked on a new journey.

And I’m doing something different ... at the same time I’m personally experiencing the stages of creating enduring change, breaking bad patterns, and reclaiming my life, that as a psychologist I often find myself teaching to others!

This is the second of 5 blogs recording the different stages of my own personal transformation, and how that has led me to insights that I now use to help individuals reclaim their energy and their lives. It has also given me a passion to help businesses to create healthier workplace environments to support their workforce, community, productivity and ultimately their own profitability.

The sad sack, fat and negative old bastard, I started the year as, has to some extent, moved aside.

I’ve kept up training and healthier eating for 6 weeks and there’s some real improvements being made.

Physically, especially, there’s progress … but then there’s this massive roadblock that I just didn’t expect – which is odd because I’ve seen it before!

6 Weeks And Counting…

Mid February 2013: Development and Disruptions

I have to acknowledge that six weeks into my training routine, I am starting to sleep better and feel less stressed.

Nevertheless, there is still no way I would reliably get out of bed early each week to work out hard in the local park.

For that, I still rely upon, my motivating personal trainer, who continues kindly sending me text reminders and regular snippets of information and encouragement during the week.

The Power of Modelling and Example

My trainer’s contagious positive enthusiasm, happiness and zest for life is having a vicarious effect on me. I'm seeing firsthand the power of modelling, and becoming the average of those you surround yourself with …

Her strength of belief in my progress and capacity is a much-needed substitute for my own self doubt, excuses and long entrenched habits of self-sabotage. Left unchecked, I am sure, I would already be falling back into my old unhealthy ways.

Dare I say it … I am even starting to look forward to nutritional and physiological information and advice from my trainer.

I am starting to reluctantly agree... this integrated approach slowly seems to be working!

I am also becoming more interested in the concepts of recovery and strain prevention.

I’m starting to honour and nurture the rhythms of my physical body, and am replacing my old views of seeing my physical self as an external obstacle, to forcefully discipline with brute strength and aggressive demands.

I am even starting to notice that the touch of my own body feels different in the shower, with more toned muscles and sleeker awareness of bones and torso outlines. 

Could this be the beginning emergence of my true, real and long lost healthy self???

AND THEN, suddenly into my awareness my biggest sabotage fear rears its hidden tentacles from my deeper subconscious

The Fear of Looking Good!

I had become comfortable and willing to settle for my big belly, beer drinking social self, as an easier way of living.

Believe it or not, I was now becoming scared about the loss of my old self and social identity, if I started looking like a healthier, fitter and younger man.

Around this time of emerging doubt about my desire to truly change my physique, extended family relatives started to criticise and ridicule my efforts ...

• It won’t last Peter, just have a beer or two with us at the weekend BBQ and let your hair down for a while.
• This is a special family/social occasion, surely you can eat a big meal with everyone and have a few social drinks to relax and celebrate in style?
• Don’t overdo this training Peter, maybe you are pushing yourself a bit too hard.
• These personal trainers can be an expensive luxury Peter are you sure you can afford it? Do you really think its worth the money?

I worried about the loss of my old familiar "big boy" social identity, as the host and hearty provider of plenty of good food and cold drinks for everyone - and the more the merrier at our family feasts!

The Inner Voice of Self-Sabotage

I started finding ridiculous justifications to trick myself into backing away from ongoing sessions.

• Gee as my waist size decreases I will be up for the expense of a heap of new business clothes, I cannot afford all that.
• Do I really believe I am worthy to be a superbly fit and healthy guy, or is that just the territory of youth? Am I just kidding myself by thinking I can turn back the clock?”

Through all of this, my trainer listened to my doubts, regularly smiled and gave me new health knowledge.

And most importantly of all:

• Simply held me accountable;
• Kept demonstrating and insisting that I do the exercises and physical routines; and
• Encouraged me to keep modifying the types of food I regularly ate.

Furthermore, my trainer modelled and embodied the truth of her own techniques.

In other words, there was an integrity and congruence around the health and vitality of her joyful lifestyle that deeply resonated with me. It was hard for me to ignore, minimise, justify or rationalise away this embodiment of lifestyle alignment, with my litany of weak excuses for quitting on myself.

Guess what, when you persist with the routines, and have a genuine role model, you continue to get the results.

Bit by bit I started to leave my doubts behind and notice the beginning emergence of the joy and enjoyment of fitness training, as a regular and natural part of my daily life.

Breaking through this self-sabotage syndrome and barrier of doubt means that I am truly ready for my health and well being takeoff. I’ll be sharing this phase in the next blog - "Letting My Light Shine".

Breaking Bad - Sick To Death Of Myself

Sometimes psychologists need help too! I want to share with you my personal journey to effective and lasting change during nine months of personal training sessions.

• How have I become so fat and unfit?
• How can I break this pattern?
• How can I distance myself from the stress and negatives in my life?

Stage One - Sick to Death of Myself

Early January 2013: I have become a sad sack, fat and negative old bastard!

It’s the start of a new year, but it will end up like the last few with me struggling to keep my head above water physically, financially and at times emotionally, unless I do something different.

It’s easy to start health kicks that last a few days, weeks or maybe even months… but how do you create enduring new patterns, and break the bad patterns and reclaim your life?

I am sick to death of myself and I do not want to repeat these years of deterioration until I just cannot summon the energy to try anymore… and I’ll be swept away out of control.

The Starting Line

I dislike the look of my own body, my paunchy belly and rolls of fat, my thickened neck line and chubby face. I am angry at myself and embarrassed that I have become so fat and unfit over the past few years.

I eat junk food and rubbish desserts and guzzle beer, as a token way to mask my unresolved stress, anxiety and financial worries.

I have a gluttonous misperception of reasonable portion size meals. I plate up feasts of fatty, unhealthy foods that would fill 4 x people’s stomachs and think this huge plateful is normal for everyone.

I do not know what I do not know about health, nutrition and sustainable physical exercise.

I am arrogant and defensive and in pathetic self-deluded denial ... my internal self talk is ready with excuses and lies to myself like…

• If I did not have the pressures of a business to run, naturally then I would be fit and train regularly.
• I do not need help or expertise to guide me back to health, because I played sport as a younger man and I know what needs to be done to get back into shape.
• Spending money on a personal trainer is a luxury indulgence and I cannot justify the cost when the other bills are piling up. 

And the list could go on and on …

Sadly, I have lost my charisma and joy and vitality for life. I work towards my goals in a mood of resignation, feeling:

• overburdened;
• heavy;
• fatigued;
• unhappy; and
• slightly irritable, far too frequently.

 I do not sleep well and find it difficult to truly relax or unwind. Over dependence on beer, coffee and workaholic office hours seems my only (false) remedies.

Not another Health Kick!

Even my dear wife, son and daughter are legitimately sceptical about my announcement that I am embarking on yet another “health kick”!

Over many years, they have witnessed my pattern of false bravado and broken promises as I entreat to them earnestly that…

• This time will be different.

• This time I will not quit on myself.

• This time I will truly succeed.

Only to see, a few months later, that my healthy attempts have defaulted back to my old negative and undisciplined ways again.

The Glimmer

Peter Doyle Psychologist and Executive Coach Guidelight Team

Luckily though, I still believe in my potential and ability and earlier life patterns of success when I was regularly able to happily inspire myself and others.

I know my inner light of strength and wisdom and endurance has never been extinguished, just dimmed and stifled by my own negative thinking and poor choices in food, health, rest and play.

Serendipity and desperation both combine to send me, reluctantly, to talk to a personal trainer.

Is it Worth the Money?

I am still sceptical and defensive about spending the money, but I know deep down my own unhealthy patterns have become more and more entrenched over time.

My recent past attempts to shift back into healthier ways have resulted in a brief burst of enthusiasm - followed by a slow decline back into the bad old ways.

This time, I say, Yes – let’s try something different, just for a little while, to break my old patterns.

I am blessed that despite my own obstacles and distractions, good fortune has smiled upon me and I have found the right Personal Trainer for me.

A magnificent journey has begun, despite me being still naively unaware of how much growth and insight will occur as I head back towards healthy vitality, the original blueprint for all of us!

Join me over these next 5 blogs as I explore the different stages of my own personal transformation, and how that has led me to insights that I now use to help others to reclaim their energy and their lives ...

In my next post, you will hear about the obstacles I faced, and how they were overcome, as I struggled past my usual time limit of previous “health kicks”.

In the meantime, I'd welcome your comments about your own struggles and in particular, how your workplace has supported (or not) your own attempts to improve all around wellbeing.