In today's fast-paced world, managing mental health can often feel like a daunting task. Between work commitments, personal responsibilities, and social obligations, finding time for traditional face-to-face therapy can be challenging. That’s why we’re excited to introduce a new, innovative approach to psychological support: our 24/7 accessible psychology video series.
Read moreHappy Birthday Guidelight!
This month, our Gold Coast Psychologist Centre is celebrating 25 years in business!
Back in 1994, Gold Coast psychologist Peter Doyle started Guidelight Psychology as a way of bridging the tremendous gap between the advanced theoretical models of psychology, and the real world challenges on the front lines - and the rest, as they say, is history …
Read more9 Common Myths about Domestic Violence
Have you fallen into the trap of believing any of these common myths about domestic violence?
Despite the growing awareness of the problem of domestic and family violence in Australia, there are still many myths in circulation. Find out the facts …
Read moreThe People Pleaser Personality Type
The people pleaser personality might seem amiable and easy going, but the reality is they are carrying a lot of conflicting priorities and stress …
Generally you will hear a lot of positive things about the people pleaser personality type.
That is, unless you are one - or happen to be in a relationship with one!
Here’s why.
The very qualities that make the people pleaser so popular, can become detrimental in their closest relationships.
Meet Joe*. Ask anybody, and they will quickly tell you:
Joe is such a nice guy!
He’s the most helpful person you could ever meet.
Everybody likes Joe!
Joe? He’d give you the shirt off his back!
Joe suffers from the typical people pleaser personality type - and yes, people pleasers do suffer (but more on that shortly).
Joe wants to be liked. He wants to be helpful. He is the first to volunteer when something needs to be done. He doesn’t want to create a stir, nor does he want to hurt anybody’s feelings, so he will usually go the flow.
To the outside world, he seems amiable, agreeable and easy-going. To his partner and / or family? Not so much.
Problems for the People Pleaser Personality Type
You see, while the people pleaser like Joe aims to, well, please people, he often does so at his own expense (and that of his loved ones.). So he finds himself saying yes to things he actually doesn’t want to do, or doesn’t have the time for.
As a result, resentment begins building up within. Joe is frequently exhausted and irritable, and finds it difficult to get enough rest and relaxation. He is constantly stressed, and feels guilty if he thinks he is letting anybody down.
About the only people Joe actually can put his foot down with, and stop his people pleasing behaviour, is his partner and/or family. That’s because deep down Joe knows that his nearest and dearest love and value him regardless, so he is able to get away with not always being on his best behaviour.
The People Pleaser and Relationships
This never-ending quest to please others can make Joe’s loved ones feel that they are at the bottom of the totem pole. Joe madly flits from one place or project to the next, helping out every man and his dog … taking for granted the family waiting at home.
Obviously, this can have a negative impact on his relationships.
The people pleaser personality type is desperate to feel important and needed. Their lack of self worth, confidence and self-belief, makes it almost impossible for them to set and maintain healthy boundaries with others.
If people pleasing is taking a real toll on your life, it’s not as simple as deciding to quit cold turkey! As with kicking any habit, it is best accomplished by taking small steps over time - and support from a psychologist can make all the difference.
*not a real person
Is Your Teenager Self-Harming?
Discover the signs to look for, if you are worried that your teenager is self-harming - and what you can do about it.
The teenage years can be fraught with difficulties, and parents often don’t know which way to turn. So what can you do if you suspect your teenager has been self-harming?
Read more6 Ways to Build Healthy Boundaries
Do you feel like people often take advantage of you? A psychologist has the skills and knowledge to help you not only build healthy boundaries, but keep them secure.
Do you feel like people often take advantage of you? Find out how to build healthy boundaries in your personal and professional relationships, in this article by a Gold Coast psychologist. You’ll be glad you did!
Read moreDo I Need Bereavement Counselling?
The flowers and cards stop coming, out of town loved ones head back home, and people are tired of hearing you talk about it - yet you are still struggling to come to terms with your loss. This is when bereavement counselling may be of benefit, writes Gold Coast psychologist Peter Doyle.
While losing a loved one is never easy, some people find they need extra support to help them cope with their loss. This is where bereavement counselling can be of benefit.
Read moreGet Grounded to Connect Body and Mind
If each day seems to pass in a blur, it’s time to get grounded!
As a kid, there was no greater punishment than to get grounded. Today however, there is a whole different meaning to the phrase "get grounded" and it's actually a good thing, says Gold Coast Psychologist Peter Doyle.
Read moreWhat is Positive Psychology and Wellbeing anyway?!
Positive psychology and wellbeing is packed with strategies and tools to help you SOAR!
Psychologists don’t just help “fix what is broken” - they can also guide you to achieve your full potential.The field of positive psychology and wellbeing offers science-backed tools and strategies to help you SOAR!
Read moreRelationship Counselling for Singles
Relationship counselling for singles … isn’t that a bit of an oxymoron?!
Relationship counselling for singles - isn’t that any oxymoron?! Find out the truth in this insightful post from Guidelight Psychology.
Read moreThe Difference between Rest and Relaxation
What is the difference between REST and RELAXATION? And why are they so important?
Studies show that people not getting enough relaxation, report lower levels of happiness and wellbeing. But what is relaxation - and how is it different to rest?
Read moreHow Career Counselling Can Help
Should you stay or should you go? Just one of the issues you can resolve with career counselling!
If you are standing at a crossroads in your working life, career counselling can help you determine your priorities, direction and the steps to move forward. Gold Coast Psychologist Peter Doyle explains.
Read moreSuffering from the Self Sabotage Syndrome?
What obstacles are you putting in your own way?
Procrastination, drugs, alcohol, even not getting enough sleep, are all symptoms of the self-sabotage syndrome at work. So what is behind this self-defeating behaviour, and how can it be overcome? Gold Coast Psychologist Peter Doyle explains.
Read morePut Christmas Anxiety in its Place!
Don't let Christmas anxiety get you down at this time of year!
According to the Christmas carols, it’s a time of joy, peace and goodwill – yet many people suffer from anxiety at this time of year. With these positive psychology tips, you can put Christmas anxiety in its place!
Read moreThe Therapeutic Value of Music
If you listen to music while exercising, you've already started to realise the therapeutic value of music!
Music can do much more than just boost your mood or help you to relax - Gold Coast Psychologist Peter Doyle discusses the therapeutic value of music for mental AND physical health and wellbeing.
Read moreAnger Management
If you often experience road rage, chances are you would benefit from some anger management counselling!
We live in an increasingly angry society. So what can you do when you feel the pressure building up inside you? Our Gold Coast psychologists provide anger management counselling, so that you will be able to identify your triggers, recognise when rage is mounting, and choose healthier ways to handle the ferocious feelings.
Read morePositive Psychology Groups for the LGBTQIAP+ Community
At Guidelight Psychology Gold Coast, we run FREE positive psychology groups for members of the LGBT community.
Find out about the positive psychology approach, and how it seeks to enrich your life, in contrast to a traditional psychopathology style which only addresses problems you may be facing. We are currently running free positive psychology groups for members of the LGBT community, here on the Gold Coast.
Read moreWhite Anting in the Workplace
What is white anting in the workplace? Gold Coast Psychologist Peter Doyle discusses the signs that a team member - or the business itself - may be the target of white ant activity.
Read moreChoosing the Best Psychologist for Your Needs
It can be difficult to track down the best psychologist for your needs, which is why we offer a free 10 minute chat to help you decide if we are the best fit for you. Find out more about the Guidelight Psychology philosophy ...
Read moreThe Difference Between Counselling and Coaching
What is the difference between Counselling and Coaching? Although they can both be provided by a registered psychologist, they are not the same. Gold Coast Psychologist Peter Doyle explains.
Read more